Happy People

My friends made me so happy today. Thanks guys! :D As in nakachat ko buong barkada ko minus Paul. Hehe. Tapos chat kami ni Abi mayang gabi. I feel so loved today. That's just what I need. ;) I so love my friends.. Really.

I just realized something. These past few weeks I've been trying to explain the feelings I've been having. Like crying about the smallest and silliest things. I have been really sensitive and I can't fugure out what the reason was. I told Abi (my bestfriend) that it's because I'm having a hard time adjusting here emotionally. You know, friends.. Erick.. cousins.. Hell, it was hard! But just a few minutes ago I realized that my whole life in the Philippines is a big big part of me. The sad thing about it is that it's now in my past. All that has happened that are truly special to me are now in my past. AND I JUST CAN"T FREAKING ACCEPT THAT. I just can't. I'm just not ready to. I want all that has happened to me in the Philippines to be my present. The 2 months I've been here.. they're senseless. There's nothing that I did that's special to me which I know I'll remember for the rest of my life. I don't know if I'm still making sense but that's how I feel. Right now, I realized that I have to move on. Not just about Erick per se but about my entire life in the Philippines. It doesn't mean that I'll forget about it but just learn how to make the most out of my life here. I am just so stuck in the past. Well the bottom line of this post is that I should learn to look forward (without Erick- that will sure be hard) and just put the Philippines on the side of my heart cause it's occupying too much of my thoughts and my feelings. But right now, as I said, I'm not yet ready to do that. I just wish I'll learn to do this anytime soon.

I had a rough rough time these past few days. Something awful happened yesterday.. again. When I rode the car this afternoon this song played on the radio. I was like "Great.". I felt better when I sang along to this song. It just perfectly fits how I feel! Well, here it is! Sing along lovely friends.. :)

Don't Speak

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Dont Speak
No Doubt


You and me
Used to be together
Every day together
Always


I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end


It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real,
Well I don't want to know


Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts


Our memories
They can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening


As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry


Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts


It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...


You and me
I can see us dying ... are we?


Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts

Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten..

-Unwritten, Natasha Beddingfield

I just came across this picture and I just want to share it with you. This is so freaking hilarious. Hahaha! This was taken by my cousin when we were outside the house talking to Ma, Titos and Titas.. Kwentuhan lang ba. This was during the Ohio Family Reunion and it's way colder there than here. It was the coldest we've experienced in our (Arriane and I) entire life. It's so funny..

:D cold huh?

Lola already came back home to the Philippines yesterday. I so envy her. Haaay.. Anyway, I'm so excited to give Kiara [Erick's niece] my pasalubongs for her. Ang tagal kunin ni Erick sa bahay pasalubong ko. Argh. I have so much to do for school and sometimes I just get soooo lazy. You see, since it's getting cold here now [I just looked at the thermometer outside: 12 C] ang tagal na ng ubo't sipon ko. Sobrang hirap mag-adjust. Sabi nga ni Erick para kaming nasa ref. And its not even fall yet. Pa-fall pa lang. Pano na kung magfall tapos magwinter. Aaaaaahhh!!! Anyway, I have to go. Update ako later. :D

I'm here at school now. I'm just wasting time til my next class. We had our first speech a while ago in my Public Speaking class. I am really glad that I rocked it.:D Haha! My teacher said Masha (from Russia) and I did great compared to my American classmates. And after class everybody was congratulating me. Well that was just the first speech but hey, that's a big YAY for me! :D I'n a way, I raised the Filipino flag! Hahaha! It's funny how every Filipino you met or even your relatives back home expects you to outrun or excel Americans. Haha! "Itaas mo bandera ng Pilipinas!" Hahaha. Well, everybody here knows that Asians are smart. Haha! Personally, I don't think so. There are a lot of Asians who are not smart at all like robbers, rapists, bad and lazy people.. But in Mind of Mencia, a popular and really funny show in Comedy Central, did a stint where they were calling on people on the streets who are unemployed. Carlos Mencia was shouting over the megaphone "Get a job!" blah blah. Haha! It was really hilarious. And he gave a shirt to one Asians that says in the front "Only Asian without a job." Hahaha! And also there's this one time that Arriane has a test and her friend asked her if she studied, Arriane said "No." and her friend said, "Why?? You're Asian, you're supposed to study!" Haha!


It's getting cold here. Argh! I hate cold places. I can't wait to graduate and live somewhere hot. Like California and Florida. :D Yay! Then I'll go back and forth to the Philippines and happily retire there. Ahhhhh.. That's still a long way for me though. Hehe..


I'm really appreciating my cousins and friends right now. I just want to have a break from worrying about the future and thinking about what ifs. I'm trying to hold on to people that know would be there to support me and love me no matter what. I love you guys!:D