I love u my baby..

I just had a chat with ma. This really broke my heart. =,(

These are some parts of the conversation:


akae1962 says:u know u guys might be coming here soon
kriztal0118 says:o? klan? [I'm starting to feel uneasy..]
akae1962 says:hopefully June or July [*heart crashes*]
akae1962 says:that is if everything goes right
akae1962 says:or kung ma-process na kayo diyan sa US Embasy
akae1962 says:thats why i want u guys to have all of ur school records ready
akae1962 says:tamang-tama sana kung makadating kayo dito ng June or July....summer dito
kriztal0118 says:ahh.. [the only letters I could type]
akae1962 says:hindi kayo masyadong mahirapan sa pag-adjust sa temp
akae1962 says:mga 80s ang temp dito by that time
akae1962 says:tapos we'll have enough time to take care of ur school kasi Sept. ang pasukan dito
kriztal0118 says:ah ok.
akae1962 says:actually....yung paperworks na lang ni Em ang inaantay namin dito
akae1962 says:once its approved...dire-diretcho na ang lahat [now i want to cry.]
akae1962 says:i can't wait to see u guys!!!!!!
akae1962 says:i miss u sooooooooo much! [i know! i miss you too but..]
akae1962 says:hindi na ako makatulog masyado
kriztal0118 says:eh yung passport mabilis lang ba yun? [i just had to ask this. erick always tell me "hindi pa yan.. matagal pa yan wala pa naman kayong passport eh.]
akae1962 says:yun ang hindi ko rin alam...how long that would take [*hint of hope*]
akae1962 says:basta nakagayak na lahat ang papaerworks para sa passports niyo
akae1962 says:all lola would have to do is get it
akae1962 says:or apply for it
kriztal0118 says:ah ok [flashbacks of erick and i in my head. tears started welling up on my eyes.]
akae1962 says:kaya nga yang braces mo iniiisip ko...asikasuhin mo da nitong summer
akae1962 says: pagdating niyo dito...i can't afford to have that done here...napakamahal dito
akae1962 says:that is if u really want and need it
akae1962 says:are u ready to come over here?
kriztal0118 says:what do you mean ready? [??]
akae1962 says:i mean kung nakagayak na yang kalooban mo? [not about this. please.]
akae1962 says:o puso mo? [i know. corny as it sounds. but it struck me hard. i am now officially crying. =,(]
kriztal0118 says:hmmm.. kailangan dba? [after several minutes of not replying. i finally managed to type these words.]
akae1962 says:very good
akae1962 says:alam mo kung kayo talaga...kayo talaga
akae1962 says:its not going to be that hard really
akae1962 says:sa umpisa of course...u'll miss him a lot
akae1962 says:pero look in the brighter side
akae1962 says:it would be for for the best na makapunta ka dito...and then kung kayo nga talaga...kapag mag-US citizen ka na...u can petition him
kriztal0118 says:ok
akae1962 says:dito kayo parehong mag-prctice ng nursing niyo...maganda talaga ang kikitain niyo dito
kriztal0118 says:ok. ma, i don't like to talk about it muna..
akae1962 says:ok


After that, we talked about arriane's course, nursing in US, my uncle's family, etc. So I'm sure that mom's not offended with my request not to talk about it first. I just know myself very well now. I know how things are better in the States but I just don't think I can leave my country that easy. In case you don't know, I have a problem with letting go of things with sentimental value.. even receipts of restaurants/fast food chains where Erick and I have been to. There's so much I'll miss here. I know I know she's my mom but she wasn't here, physically here, when I needed her.. during the most crucial years of a human's life, his/her teenage years. Erick was there. My mom left to work in the States when I was 13 years old, before my grade school graduation. It's not like I'm blaming her for not being here with us, I totally understand that. It's just that no one can ever deny the fact that Erick has always been there for me.. being my boyfriend, my friend, and [oh my God! why haven't I realized this for the past years??] my parents' substitute! We knew each other since I was in 1st year highschool.. but were too shy to talk to each other. We just got involved with each other when I was in 2nd year. Since then, though we had countless problems, he has always been here on my side.


I also haven't seen my dad for years now. The last time I saw him was during arriane's grade school graduation, a year after my mom left. My dad's a very good and kind person. Arriane and I know that the reason why he's not calling up or visitting is that he's too withdrawn and depressed with financial matters. We just can't figure out why does he always think that everytime we see each other, he should give something to us. I mean, we don't need that. He needs it more than we need it. All we ever wanted is to see him. You see, my dad's living with Tita Grace [our stepmom] and Rap-Rap [our little and only brother]. They just live with my dad's family [our lolo and lola and my other uncles and aunts]. They live in a squatter's area in Malinta, Valenzuela besides the riles. But don't get me wrong, they own their land. It's just that they're surrounded by squatters. My parent's love story had been like one of the fairy tales or teleserye ones. My dad being poor and my mom being an unica hija of a rich family. My lolo [mom's dad] didn't agree about their relationship but they let their love prevail! When my mom passed the CPA exam [my lolo's dream was to see my mom be a successful accountant], she rejected job offers and decided to just settle down with my dad in a convenience store in front of Frisco Market. Yes that's where Arriane and I spent more than half of our life in. Can you imagine us playing in a parlor shop [our right neighbor], in a drugstore [our left neighbor], or in a fruit store [one of our front neighbors]? That was how we spent our childhood days. See? It's really hard to leave all those memories behind.


What I'm trying to say is that my life had been a blast of different events [my parent's separation, having a stepdad, having a stepmom, my parents' problem with drug addiction, etc.], places [we moved 5 times already] and faces [I've met wonderful as well as terrible people in my life.]. It all happened faster than a blink of an eye. The seventeen years of my life is my own drama, my own teleserye. It's just that the four years of knowing Erick was the happier portion of my life.. most especially the last 2 years of it [2 years of our loving relationship]. Erick is a BIG, BIG part of my life now. There's no turning back. Our migration to the States is no surprise now but whenever my mom brings up the topic, I always encounter the same, familliar feeling of sadness. All I know is that wherever I'll go, even be it the other side of the world, Erick and I will always find our way back to each other. Whatever happens. WE KNOW. We're soulmates, we're meant to be. We already proved that.


I love you Erick... I'll always will.
(Please don't get angry with me na.. :,( )


Tomorrow's Arriane's Prom. Erick and I will drop and pick her up in EDSA Shang tom. We're going to attend Marga's Birthday also.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARGA!!!

awww.. erick gave me this. how sweet.. :) *blush*


VALENTINES DAY. :) just the thought of it makes me happy already. well besides that i see my favorite color (red) everywhere, it just seems that love is everywhere. when i entered the campus this afternoon, i was surprised to see different school organizations selling stuffs for valentines day. flowers, chocolates, donuts (yes, donuts.), etc. I saw different girls holding different kinds and sizes of flowers. It was funny how i told rina and marga how i envy those girls 'cause erick isn't really the flower-giving type of guy. It was two years ago since he gave me one. haha. marga helped me find a gift for erick. We found a nice shirt in Guess but I wasn't sure of his size so I decided to text ate shine first. After a few minutes, there's still no beep from my phone. I then decided to text ace about erick's size. He replied "medium lng sya ang alam ko..hapi valentines! ako large...hehe...jokelng...". haha! since the shirt marga and i had chosen was only in 2 sizes na lang, XL and small, i bought the small one na lang. The XL's too big he'll look like a hiphop jologs. hahaha! :D when i already bought the shirt, ate shine texted (is there such a word?:p) that erick's size is large. i almost freaked out at the idea that the shirt might be too fit for him. So.. i just bought another shirt in folded and hung in Large. He was really thankful for the gifts. And luckily both the shirts fitted and looked good on him. yay!


so.. that's it for today. happy valentines day!:)

gateway with my beloved friends. arriane, me, macy, pia, jen, paul, carlo [dayn's bro], and carlo's classmate [oops sorry i forgot his name.:D] hihi. studio pic? haha.

took this pic last feb 3 in rob east while waiting for erick. winnie the pooh!!! gonna watch this!:D

crazed. nakakabaliw na mag-aral! haha! shift na ko!:D

maxi, pat, marga, rina, and tatin. :) this is what you do in biology class.

Im feeling kinda sad kasi its saturday tapos 7:20 pa lang nasa bahay na ko. :( weekdays are hell and saturday's the only day i get to spend the whole day with him. well they have a pre-valentines family dinner kasi i had to go home early. i know that we see each other everyday naman but pag weekdays kasi more on school yung focus namin. :( haaay.. how i wish im with him right now. oh well..


anyway nagdate naman kami kanina eh so its okay na rin. errrr.. date ba un?:D haha! We watched Alfie in G4 today. I don't like the ending of the story.. he's just GWAPO [really]! haha! after the movie, we went to U. Summer just really excites me! It's my FAVORITE time of the year! I badly wanted to buy a swim suit na but i was with erick so that wasn't a good idea. talk about strict overprotective boyfriends. but hey, hindi na siya ganon ka-strict ngayon. i usually wear spaghetti straps nowadays [i just love 'em!:p] and di na siya nagrereact. hihi. [sana nga d na magreact] He also doesn't want me to wear above-the-knee skirts. Oh di ba? Tatay na tatay ang dating. hehe.. love u 'by!


wait nandiyan na si arriane buksan ko lang yung door namin.


HAAAAAY NAAAAAKOO!!! nakakabwisit talaga yan!!! sinuot ba naman niya yung shirt na bigay sakin ni erick nung christmas ng HINDI NAGPAPAALAM!!! nakakainis talaga!!! lagi na lang yan ganyan! BWISIT TALAGA!!! at sinuot pa niya yung sandals ko ng HINDI RIN NAGPAPAALAM!!! eh hello napudpod/close to sira-na na nga yung heels nun nung hiniram nung pinsan ko yun tapos ginamit pa niya!!! ANG KAPAL TALAGA NG MUKHA!!! favorite sandals ko pa naman yun! tapos buong day pa siyang nagpa-ikot2 sa UST eh di sobrang sira-sira na yun!! epal talaga!!! ipapadlock ko na talaga yung cabinet ko! PROMISE!!! bukas na bukas rin!!! BITCH!


wala na talaga ko sa mood. anyway tapusin ko na lang yung mga nangyari today. after U punta kami tower records.. one of erick's favorite places in the world. tapos take-out ako sbarro [my favorite pizza store] tapos take-out si erick sa auntie anne's [his favorite pretzel store]. tapos nun uwi na kami sa antipolo tapos nagpagupit muna siya then hinatid na niya ko.


panira talaga ng araw!!!